George Rebane

A new batch of Darwin Awards were claimed in Accokeek, Maryland this weekend.  The candidates were required to report to a straight stretch of in-service highway in the wee hours of the morning.  There they had to assemble on either side of the road to watch two cretins in over-powered vehicles drag race.  As the cars took off down the road in a cloud of burning rubber and exhaust, the applicants then had to quickly fill in behind the cars on the road all facing away from oncoming traffic in the direction of the departed racers.  This would create a solid phalanx of human bodies into which the next unsuspecting vehicle driving at normal highway speed would plow.  Eight of the participants received the terminal Darwin Award, thereby dutifully removing themselves from the gene pool.  At least five others received honorable mention about which they will hear as soon as some semblance of consciousness returns and the hospital permits visitors.